


You're My Honeydew (And You, And You)

by silentghost



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Confessions, F/M, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Multi, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, because, eventual OT4 - Freeform, i keep writing him like that i need to Stop, kagami is sweet, luka is just vibing, marinette is Like That, there aren't enough puns soz, this is the closest to canon i will ever get and it's an au, yes he turns into a bat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26313316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentghost/pseuds/silentghost
Summary: In the daytime, he's Adrien Agreste: just a normal boy with a normal life. But there's something about him that no one knows yet, 'cause he has a secret-- a VAMPIRIC one.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	You're My Honeydew (And You, And You)

**Author's Note:**

> "i should take it slow," i said. "i need to focus on the [redacted] au that's coming along super fucking slowly and, like, school, which is more important," i said.
> 
> then i imagined my fave boy as a vampire, and, 4k words of projecting later, here we are
> 
> i wanted to finish this before the tv special but classes said Fuck You (being an upperclassman is _hard_ holy shit). it's here now tho, and right on time for october! have fun

Adrien watches the sun slowly crawl its way up the sky with dry eyes. It’s the fifth consecutive occurrence where Adrien didn’t sleep at night, and he’s getting pretty tired of it— no pun intended (Oh, who is he kidding, that was on purpose). His sleep schedule changed so drastically that he absolutely has to stay awake all night but sleeps in the morning between classes. In essence, he’s become like his good friend, Marinette. The girl loses sleep on the daily from how busy she is minding her parents’ bakery and designing clothes. 

But Adrien isn’t nocturnal because of deadlines or the extra lessons his father forces on him— he’s not like other boys.

He’s a _vampire_. 

And not just any kind of vampire, no. Adrien Agreste is a fruit bat.

Sighing because, vampirism or not, he has to get ready, Adrien finally gets up from bed and fishes through various piles of clothes on the floor for a pair of jeans and a clean binder. As a newly turned vampire, his transformation is much slower. He’s still new to the whole poor-eyesight-and-fangs thing, so he has to put on contacts before carefully brushing his teeth. It’s a struggle resisting the urge to bite down on his toothbrush every morning. Nathalie says as a fledgling it means he’s teething, but Adrien doesn’t get _why_ he feels the need to bite when all he eats is fruit.

When he’s finished getting ready he makes his way through the labyrinthine mansion to the huge dining room. Nathalie is already waiting for him by his spot at one end of the table, typing on her tablet. On the opposite side is the empty chair where his father is supposed to sit.

His breakfast is a plate of tropical fruit with a glass of apple juice. Adrien picks up a fork and starts shoveling food into his mouth.

“G’morning,” he says through a mouthful of pineapple and mango.

“Your father won’t be supervising your afternoon lessons today,” Nathalie responds. “Once fencing practice is over you are to return home and start reading.”

Ah, yes, the shitty Vampire 101 Lessons he has to go through now that he’s older and actually turned. If anything it’s just an excuse for his father to look at him for awkwardly long hours as he reads tome upon tome of vampire history. The books don’t even teach him how to put up glamour or shapeshift— those he had to figure out by himself.

“After fencing? But I have a date today!” Adrien protests.

“It’s important for you to be consistent in your studies. You have over 200 years of history left to catch up on, not to mention the family’s personal history.”

“Father’s the one who turned me, why doesn’t he explain everything himself,” he mutters under his breath. It isn’t fair! He just wants to spend time with his girlfriend and have fun with his friends. He didn’t choose immortality and pointy teeth. In fact, he didn’t even really _have_ a choice whether or not to become a vampire.

“He’s a busy man, Adrien, you know that.” Oh yeah, enhanced vampire senses. No doubt his father heard him as well as Nathalie. He winces at the table. “Finish your fruit and head to the car; we don’t want you to be late.”

On the ride to school he’s silent. Adrien looks out the window to sulk and ignore Nathalie as she drones about his schedule for the day. Fencing, then vampire history, then piano practice, then dinner, then more vampire reading, then being sent to his room to hang from the ceiling until the sun rose again.

It left no room for him to do anything else, much less hang out with his partner. And Adrien _really_ wanted to meet with Kagami today. He wants to tell her the truth about everything that’s been going on with him since the beginning of the school year. He has a plan and everything!

The car rolls to a stop in front of the school and the Gorilla opens the door with a grunt. Adrien waves the car off and walks up the steps and through the courtyard. A few students are lingering on the first floor before class starts, including Nino, Alya, and Marinette.

Something stops Adrien in his tracks when he’s about to greet his friends. A smell that’s distinctly _fruity_ coming from someone near. It smells _good_ , and he wants some of it.

“Hey du— whoa, Adrien, you look terrible. Did you sleep late last night?”

Nino holds his arm, concerned.

At Adrien’s questioning look he says, “Your eyes are all red and you look super hungry, bro.”

“I’m fine,” he assures, summoning his glamor to mask it up, “Father is making me take extra classes outside of school so I don’t get much sleep. He isn’t even letting me see Kagami after fencing today, can you believe it?”

He figures he’ll take his time telling his friends about being a vampire. That’s something he doesn’t want everyone to know.

“Man, that sucks.” _Haha, suck,_ Adrien thinks. “Your old man never gives you a break!”

At that Alya springs from the background and pushes Marinette towards the two.

“Ah, uh— I— macaron? You?” she squeaks out. She shoves something yellow into his chest.

The pastry fits right in his palm and is filled with yellow frosting. When he takes a bite a tart custard oozes his mouth as the delicate cookie melts on his tongue. So this is where the smell came from! And it has passion fruit, his favorite!!

“Thanks, Marinette!” he crows. He moans almost obscenely at the delicious taste. “You’re the best friend ever!”

Adrien groans again, savoring the fruity flavor.

He misses the way she deflates at his words, cheeks a cherry red. She runs back to Alya, who sends a frown their way. The first bell rings and they gather their stuff to enter the classroom.

“Dude, the sad-horny vibes I got just now were, like, astronomical,” Nino says.

“How can you be sad _and_ horny at the same time?” Adrien laughs. 

“There are ways,” his best friend answers ominously.

Adrien never knows how Nino picks up on these sort of things. _Maybe he’s a vampire too,_ he muses to himself. He spends the day distracted and a little drowsy after sleeping in the library during lunch. He should ask Marinette for more special macarons in the future. It was perfect for his tastes! He bets her boyfriend, Luka, receives sweets from her all the time; they must be amazing.

-

By the time classes are over he’s drooling thinking about macarons filled with jam. He’ll have to find Kagami quickly— because of _course_ he’s skipping all his extracurricular lessons today, emotionally distant father be damned. Anything is worth it if Kagami’s involved. He pulls her aside in the schoolyard to tell her about the last minute change of plans.

Leaving the school through the back is easier than he expected. Luckily neither the Gorilla nor Nathalie catch them sprinting hand in hand towards the river, near where they had their first date. They even get ice cream from André, who scoops them an assortment of fruit sorbet.

Adrien’s nervous. He wanted to ease Kagami into the news, maybe introduce the idea of vampires existing first. They both had their respective emo phases (perks of having terrible parents who isolate you during your formative years) so he knows she’d believe him to a point. What he doesn’t know is if he has enough time to explain everything he needs before Nathalie or Madam Tsurugi find them.

He’ll have to rip the bandaid off, quickly.

They settle by the riverside. Adrien nibbles at his sorbet. It’s blueberry with a couple other flavors he can’t identify quite yet, but it does remind him of Kagami’s hair. He takes a deep breath.

It’s now or never.

“I have a secret to tell you, Gami. No one knows this but me and now you,” he says with light trepidation. She sits taller and turns to face him.

“You’re still in love with Marinette and you might have feelings for Luka too?”

Huh?

“Huh?” he asks. She gives him a Look.

“I may have trouble picking up on social cues but I know how you look when you have a crush, Adrien.”

“Um, no I don’t??” He shakes his head. “I’m a vampire.”

Adrien takes out a makeup wipe from his backpack and wipes his wrist, pointing at the bite mark on the inside of his left arm. He even tugs up his lips to show his fangs, glamour temporarily gone.

“Ohhh. Okay.” Kagami continues eating her ice cream, unbothered.

“Hold up, you’re fine with me being a vampire? And since when was I in love with Marinette?"

Her eyes squint for a second, lips pursed in concentration. “Let’s discuss this one at a time. In short, yes, but I do have questions. Do you drink blood?”

Adrien shakes his head. “No, I’m a fruit bat vampire.” At Kagami’s raised eyebrows, he explains, “Basically I eat fruit instead of blood to survive. Father does, though.”

He frowns at the memory of when he first saw his dad feeding. Not fun.

“When did all that—” she gestures at his face “—happen?”

“Right before school started,” he answers. “It was my father’s one condition for me to attend.”

Adrien was allowed to attend Duponte only if he transformed. The older vampire had a whole spiel about “being a man now” and “vampire heirs” and “responsibility as the remaining Agreste” (Which was bullshit, in Adrien’s opinion. What does gender have to do with being a vampire?), but Adrien accepted the offer anyway, desperate to make friends his age. One bite and several plates of fruit later, Adrien is mostly getting the hang of it.

Kagami nods in understanding and they fall into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. The afternoon sky is a perfect blend of wispy clouds and warm sunlight.

“Have you noticed,” she starts slowly, “you always look at Marinette like she’s your world? Even with our history, she brings stars to your eyes whenever you talk about her. Does she still pine after you the way she did when I first came here?”

Adrien sits and thinks about what Marinette does that could look like pining. He remembers the notes she passes him during class when he has a particularly bad dysphoria day, the lucky charm she made him, the scarf he got for a birthday present that suspiciously looks like something she knit by hand, the macaron she made just for him today. All done with the same care and consideration Kagami puts into their dates when she plans them.

“Oh.” Kagami nods again in confirmation. “But that’s how I should be with _you_ , and she has Luka!” Adrien puts his ice cream down and grabs her hands. “Kagami, you know I love you, right?”

“Of course I do, you’re so sweet and genuine. Like a puppy.”

Her hand slips out of his to pat his head and Adrien, the weak man that he is, leans into the touch.

“It’s okay to like more than one person. It happens.”

A thought comes to Adrien’s mind. “Wait, Mari _and_ Luka?”

“That André man gave us four flavors, did he not?” Kagami squints her eyes in distrust. “I swear, the way that man knows things is unnatural.”

Adrien looks at his ice cream, which is more than halfway melted in the cone. The colors swirled together into a uniform blue-y purple color. And it _is_ true Adrien thinks Luka looks cute. Huh. Who would’ve thought.

“Do you think they like me back?”

She gives him another Look, one that says _You’ve got to be kidding me._ He nods, taking it as a yes and wondering what to do now.

“There is an obvious solution to this,” she says after a few minutes. “We could all just date each other, the four of us.”

Adrien sits back on the grass. He never thought of that. “Do _you_ want us all to date?”

“I don’t mind if you date them along with me. I think with time I could like Marinette and Luka too.” She sits back with him. “It’ll just take a lot of talking to each other about our feelings.”

“I want to try.” Adrien resolves to ask out Marinette and Luka in the near future. He can feel his heart pounding at the prospect, imagining the four of them hanging out like this and sharing ice cream. Maybe Marinette will start making pastries for both him and Kagami too.

They shoot the breeze, talking about other less important things. Adrien leans against Kagami’s shoulder and sighs. She always smells comforting, like lychee and freshly brewed tea. She pats his head once again. “ _Fangs_ for being so understanding, Gami.” Her face scrunches up into a cringe, lips curled amusedly so he knows she isn’t actually offended.

“If you’re going to make vampire jokes at every opportunity, we’re breaking up,” she says with a dead look in her eye. He smirks.

“You love me,” he sings.

“That I do.” She hums. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. And thank you for also being willing to talk about Marinette and Luka.”

“You learn something new everyday, right?” A smile stretches across his face, soft and sweet like a peach.

“Like my boyfriend is a vampire who just discovered he likes two other people besides me?” she says dryly. He nudges her with his elbow.

“Exactly!”

Suddenly a sleek black car pulls up to the sidewalk a few meters away from where they’re sitting. Adrien’s heart sinks as he watches Nathalie step out of the passenger seat, arms crossed. 

“Aw, damn. I gotta go.” He presses a kiss to Kagami’s hand. “I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll text you,” Kagami says back.

He sends one last wave to his girlfriend and climbs into the backseat, Nathalie following behind him.

The air inside the limo is icy. Nathalie switches between passive aggressively tapping on her phone and clicking her tongue. By the time they arrive home the sky has darkened and Adrien’s vision sharpens under his contacts.

The lights in the mansion are off, less because of their heightened night vision and more because Gabriel Agreste is that dedicated to upholding the edgy vampire vibe. Adrien walks up the stairs in the direction of his room but is stopped by his father lounging in a chair in an especially dark corner.

“Adrien.”

Sitting half obscured by shadows, half illuminated by the glow of the streetlights outside, Gabriel Agreste looks very much the powerful vampire he is— since he literally never leaves the house or shows his face in public, he doesn’t use glamour to conceal himself. His irises shine a deep red, and his fangs are so large they peek past his lips. Adrien faces him, head held high.

“I’m very disappointed. To think, my one heir is spending more time than necessary with humans.” He sneers. “Unacceptable.”

A much younger Adrien would bow his head in shame and try anything to appease his father. But since becoming a vampire he’s realized his father’s words are nothing more than manipulation tactics to keep him under his thumb. _Utter bullshit_ , as Chloe would say when they were younger. 

“Did you forget I was a human myself up until a few months ago?” he argues back.

“Did _you_ forget your part of the compromise? If you become the heir, you can go to school. I never allowed needless interactions.”

“I was with my girlfriend!”

His father’s eyes sharpen. “Mlle. Tsurugi is a very strong ally to the Agreste name. But I won’t tolerate slacking on your lessons. Therefore you will not see her or any other human for the next three weeks. You are to attend only your classes and fencing practice and return home immediately every day.” He dismisses Adrien’s incredulous face with a wave of his hand. “You have a shoot tomorrow afternoon at the Eiffel Tower. Good night.” Then, as if an afterthought, he adds, “Son.”

Adrien turns away before he can finish speaking. _I’ve snuck out before, I’ll do it again_ , he thinks stubbornly. He flops onto his bed and contemplates going back downstairs to grab a bowl of grapes when his phone buzzes with a text from Kagami.

Kagami: _I'm assuming your father talked to you as per usual when you do something without his permission. How did it go?_

Adrien: _Yeah, you bet we had a “talk” :/_

Kagami: _If he misgendered you again I will break his kneecaps_

Kagami: .

Adrien: _That was just a one time thing he's good now!! But he said I can’t go out for a while :(( I was thinking of talking to Marinette and Luka later this week too_

Kagami: _That is unfortunate._

Kagami: _We’ll figure it out. After all, a couple of rules never stopped you before. And if all else fails, we can just have a group call over the weekend. Or I can duel your father in the courtyard until he allows us to visit you._

Adrien: _Lol you’re the best Kagami :D you're right, things will work out in the end (hopefully with no dueling!)_

Kagami: _I'm always glad to listen to you. I apologize for the short notice, but I must go to bed now._

Kagami: _Good night, Adrien._

Adrien: _Good night <3 _

Kagami: _Ɛ > _

He still doesn't know how Kagami can do that, but it warms his heart. Lately she's been getting more comfortable showing affection to him (seriously, screw both their parents for the whole repression thing they've got going on), and he appreciates all the effort she’s putting in. With this encouragement and the image of Kagami fighting his father in mind, he takes off his contacts and showers with the remaining lights in his room turned off.

Then he poofs into a tiny brown bat and hangs in the rafters of his room to wait for sunrise again. 

-

The next day Adrien learns his photoshoot is a partnered one with someone named Mila Mossi. The name doesn't ring a bell until he sees a certain brown haired girl arguing with the photographer. The photographer throws his hands in the air in frustration and stomps away. _Euuughhhhh how is she still here?_ he groans internally.

"Adrien!" Lila fucking Rossi bounds over to him with actual tears running down her face. He's a little impressed by how much her acting has improved. “They said I’m not allowed to model with you. Isn’t that so unfair?" She pouts in hopes of rousing the passiveness he would show before.

“I thought you transferred schools, Lila, what are you doing here?” His nose wrinkles.

“What, did you forget about my passion for modeling?” She leans forward into his personal space.

Adrien sighs. “My father sent you to spy on me again, didn’t he.”

“I’m just keeping an eye on you! I thought you were on my side, Adrien.” In an instant the tears are gone. Her voice drips with condescension, all lemony sour. "Especially when Marinette is being such a bad influence on you. Her, Kagami, and that weird emo guitar guy."

He crosses his arms, ducking when she gets too close. "You don’t get to talk about Kagami that way. Besides, Marinette and Luka are my friends. They look out for me better than you ever will.”

" _Well_ ," she drawls with a self-satisfied smirk, " _I_ just think it's concerning that they hang around you so much. It’d be unfortunate if a rumor went around that they’re bullying you into giving them attention.”

"That’s exactly what you did! No one believes you anymore, Lila, I made sure of that.” It's almost funny how gullible everyone was back then. Keyword: almost. Kagami, Marinette, and Luka were the only other ones who didn't fall for Lila's shit. He’s glad Marinette finally knocked some sense into him, leading him to call Lila out publicly so that the rest of the class realized how foolish they were. Thinking about how terrible he was to Marinette leaves a rank taste in his mouth, like bitter melon.

"No one in school," she corrects. "I wonder what M. Agreste would say if he heard his son spends his time with people he deems _unsavory_.”

Adrien bristles at that. She can’t be serious. If his father knew _everything_ going on (even if it were a lie) Adrien wouldn’t be able to bear being removed from school— a move his father would definitely make if push comes to shove.

He drops his glamour for a second and bares his fangs. Her eyes widen comically.

"For the last time, stay away from me and any of them or you'll regret it. I won’t hesitate, bitch,” he hisses out.

He stalks off, leaving Lila in disbelief.

Crap, he really just did that. He still can’t wrap his head around what a teenage girl gains from ruining people's lives. Or from teaming up with a powerful vampire who hates humans.

His only saving grace is that no one will believe Lila if she tries to expose him. Kagami may have been chill, but all of Paris would lose their shit if they knew teen heartthrob Adrien Agreste was not only a vampire but also immortal.

Adrien heads to a food stand near the Eiffel, distractedly thinking about getting a smoothie for his troubles. With his luck he probably has enough time to calm down and eat some lunch before Nathalie discovers he's missing from the shoot. He thinks he'll get a fruit salad, too. He's been craving honeydew since he woke up and—

He promptly trips on someone's busking setup. He scrambles to rearrange the mic and stand of papers that he knocked over.

"Sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going and…"

He gawks at the sight of Marinette and Luka sitting on little stools. Luka has his guitar on hand and Marinette's holding sheet music. Their faces are equally confused when he straightens up and nervously scratches the back of his neck.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

Luka recovers first, responding with a smile, "Just vibing. Mari and I like to busk when she has free time."

"We _totally_ weren't spying on you to make sure Lila wasn't sabotaging your photoshoot— although we saw you scare her off so it must have gone well—" Marinette freezes and turns red.

Adrien always knew she acted Like That around him, but thanks to Kagami he now knows there's a reason behind it. It's kind of cute. He grins. "It's cool. Actually, I had something I wanted to tell you guys. Let me call Kagami first."

-

They find a table surrounded by benches away from the crowd, four of them now, and Adrien starts a long, winding speech (it must run in the family) about Feelings before Kagami slaps a hand over his mouth and bluntly says, “Adrien likes you two as well and would like to date us all in one group. The two of us have talked and came to the conclusion that it could work if you would like to try."

Marinette makes a sound similar to a screaming goat while Luka ecstatically strums on his guitar.

"I've been waiting for _weeks_ for you to take a hint oh my _God!!"_ she yells. "Yes, let's date!"

Luka nods along, his fingers picking out a complicated melody. "You're what we've been missing. Our harmony can be complete now with the four of us." He finishes with a flourish and sets the guitar down.

Adrien hooks his arm around Kagami's shoulders, feeling like this was the perfect cherry on top for the day. They shuffle around into a group hug that’s awkward due to how they’re standing but a warm one nonetheless. He takes a breath of the four of them— Luka smelling of freshly cut watermelon, Marinette like almonds and berries, Kagami’s familiar scent, and the honey-sweet scent he knows to be his own— a fruit salad of mutual love with him in the middle.

For a moment, all of Adrien’s worries disappeared. No school, no morally ambiguous vampire dad and his vampire employees, no evil girls vying for his attention. Just his three favorite people. He has a sudden urge to bite the nearest shoulder to him.

"Well, at least now I also can tell you I'm a vampire."

"You're _what?_ "

**Author's Note:**

> all of this was just for the fruit salad metaphor at the end ngl  
> anyway it's getting pretty late,,, writing this took so much out of me lmfao i'll see you at the end of the month fr smth i'm writing fr halloween


End file.
